50 Things I DID NOT Do Last Week - September 16, 2006

Last Week's NOT To-Do List...and I don't see a lot of these happening THIS week either! (Although #2, 5, and 50 are always subject to change)

I did not...

1. Travel on a whim, to an exotic locale to hobnob with deposed royalty and the international auto racing set.
2. Experience wild debauchery and gambling in Vegas
3. Drive through a car wash (or through a wall...thank goodness)
4. Dance the Limbo
5. Have sex with or get naked with anyone other than myself (darn it)
6. Make prank phone calls
7. Build a model railroad to scale. I also did not build one not to scale.
8. Forget how to count to 8.
9. Attend a seminar given by a motivational speaker
10. Say "It's Only a Game" regarding football..
11. Tune in, turn on OR drop out (Ummmm..I didn't even have anything fall out of my clothing.)
12. Use the phrase "Back in my day..." although I might have said, "What the Hell is WRONG with people these days??"
13. Eat enough sugar (Is there such a thing as ENOUGH sugar??)
14. Clean my oven
15. Play Pac Man, Ms. Pac Man or any Pac related games, and thus soiling my perfect Pac-Family free track record
16. Make inappropriate inquiries about the appearance of children with unfortunately shaped heads.
17. Drink any V8 (EVER)
18. Find Bin Laden
19. Return any phone calls from my inner child
20. Wear any purple clothing

21. Eat chicken livers. (Can we all say EWWWWWWWWW together?)
22. Enter the Witness Protection Program or go on the lamb...(like some others that will remain nameless)
23. Say "Uzbekistan"
24. Watch any episodes of "Family Matters" featuring Steve Urkel
25. Judge a livestock contest
26. Join a fringe group
27. Get Married
28. Become a despot
29. Forget to moisturize
30. Sing Christmas songs (Even though the stores are already full of Christmas stuff...give me a break!)
31. Tell knock knock jokes
32. Fashion a shiv by melting down old toothbrushes and candy wrappers
33. Gain an appreciation for the cinematic subtlety of "Dude, Where's My Car?"
34. Work the pole at Flashdancers
35. Unmask Lucha Libre wrestlers
36. Fashion a lively quilt from discarded dish towels and aprons
37. Consult Dr. Phil (EVER)
38. Commit a felony
39. Determine the color of my parachute
40. Use PowerPoint to simplify multivalent concepts

41. Make a purchase over $100.00 (Well, who can afford it? Remember, I took the weekend off from pole dancing after all...missed the tip money! *wink*)
42. Get lost in the shuffle.
43. Quite reach my sexpiration date yet
44. Cure cancer, or any other disease
45. Underestimate the fact that everybody is someone else's weirdo.
46. Go Ice Skating.
47. Reinvent the wheel
48. Secede from the union
49. Reveal the secrets of the Illuminati
50. Jam with or shake my bodonkadonk in person with Trace Adkins

What are a few things on YOUR Not To-Do List?