The Official Online Social Users Guide (AKA My Personal Operating Manual) -
Due to the recent rash...ummmm...I guess considering the topic I'm about to broach, perhaps influx would be a better word (After all, since I don't know where most of your hoo-ha's have been, rash might be hitting too close to home, given the tone of some of your pages *wink*). Okay, due to the recent INFLUX of totally ridiculous off the wall "offers" flooding my messages, I thought I'd present a little synopsis of the inner workings of my mind. Granted, it will be a surface view...but nonetheless, pay attention, a few of you might learn something. This, for once, is not meant as satire or irony. It is not a how-to or self-help posting of how to get laid (with me or anyone else) or of how to catch the person of your dreams (trust me, that's not me). It will not be a bedtime fairy tale full of happily ever afters or Pollyanna views of "never give up". It is raw unadulterated (what a lovely word) truth. Those that know me well, know that when I speak my mind, it is without filters to those I've let inside.
Firstly and most important...you will NEVER see me posting an online personal on ANY dating site. I find them ridiculous and places where mostly players go to roam. Ergo, I do NOT consider 360 to be a meat (meet) market for finding my Prince Charming...I'm not looking for anything here or anywhere else. No, I will not connect with you on messenger for meaningless virtual cam sex. Yes, yes..I know...it doesn't count as cheating or dating if you never touch. *rolling my eyes*
No, as amazing as some of you find it, total strangers telling me what a killer body I have, simply doesn't melt me into an instant puddle of pre-orgasmic hugely aroused goo. Sorry...you have to work a little harder than that to even make me want to talk to you, much less f*ck you in any way or get naked for or with you. No, I will not fly up, down or around to meet you. No, you cannot come visit me for a "quick" visit or one night stand because you want to meet me and find me irresistible. No, you do not love me, you don't know me.
Secondly...I have a brain. It's active, complex and quite frankly...not very tolerant of those that choose not to use their own brain and common sense. I have a quick wit that can sometimes be biting...a deep moral sense that works for me and defines me...and a working knowledge of many topics (I'm also absolute hell on wheels at Trival Pursuit, my mind is a virtual repository of useless facts that stick there. Trust me, you want me on your team). I have many opinions and a mind that is at times fully open to learning new things and conversely, on some subjects, is firmly set in place.
You'll find the friends on my list are, for the most part, (those that actually choose to string sentences together and have input) smart, articulate and real. Those that know me well..and there are a few that see beyond the surface...will tell you I have a bite, but also have a heart that is too soft for my own good. My beloved grits girls once referred to me as the pit bull. When they first used that term, it surprised me...then pleased me. It fits. I do not suffer fools lightly or tolerate friends being hurt very well at all.
Thirdly...I don't care if your wife doesn't understand you or if you have a magic stick the size of a tree trunk. I don't care that you're "really" breaking up with your girlfriend, but letting her down easy or that ALL those undressed women on your list somehow got the wrong idea about your intentions and you have NO idea why they all claw over each other to outslut themselves on your page trying to get to you.
I know, I know...you've "never" given them any encouragement and those comments you left on their pages were merely out of pity or not wanting to hurt their itty bitty self-esteems. You were being kind. I know...you're a prince! I've been waiting on you to ride up on your shining steed and rescue me, all my life! *swoon* (yeah right) If you have a gaggle of women on your page that regularly fawn over you or that you rotate your time between regularly on messenger like some polygamist, you're a player and there is nothing less appealing. I know what a good man is and how they behave when they are sincere. Trust me, you won't compete or be in any way appealing if you're "trying" so hard to convince everyone of what a stud you are...most of the time, the men (Or WOMEN) that feel the need to be so obvious are severely lacking in many areas. Discretion is extremely sexy.
Fourth, if you send me a message that you've sent to every single one of the females on your list and think that it counts as a personal communication, you're likely to get deleted without warning....especially if you're silly enough to leave ALL the names visible, then I get 400 fawning replies from women I don't know that can't manage to hit "reply" rather than "reply all" on their answer to you.
Furthermore, the little silly chain messages going around lately that sound like the notes I take up from my 5th graders at school (i.e. check yes or no...do you want to screw me?? You know there is one person on your 360 you'd like to f*ck...tell me if it's me)..those messages?
Ummmm...here is my answer...If I want to sleep with you, you'd better already know it and I don't plan to be one of the minions that reply with what your ego wants to hear. I will not be part of a large crowd competing for attention. I'm an adult and have moved way beyond the stuff that teenagers pass around on MySpace trying to "appear" sexy.
Now, this is NOT a man bashing blog. Women on here are just as bad when it comes to behavior, both toward men and each other. I have to approach it today from "my" point of view, and that point of view consists mainly of messages from men. Not that I think many will heed it, but I felt the need to try and put into writing what I believe or live by so that I will perhaps not waste some of your time if you're only here to get what you can from me in the way of pictures or play.
Right now, I'm struggling a bit. I don't really believe in much at the moment as far as the possibilities of happily ever after...ever. I'm not sure I ever did, but there have been a time or two in my life, I opened myself up to the thought it might exist...I do not anticipate doing that again, but then again..I never say never and am still fighting for what I want and know is right for me. I don't trust easily, nor let anyone close to me emotionally or otherwise. There is only one person that knows me inside out and they know who they are.
I have a strong personality (yes, I know that some of the men on here will be thinking the word "bitch" and those men are welcome to take themselves off my list if you want a shrinking violet type female as a friend or anything else). You need to get a clue that being honest is not the same thing as being bitchy. While being honest might tell you what you don't want to hear or accept, my theory is...if you aren't ready for a truthful answer to a question, don't the hell ask it in the first place. Don't expect your ego (or anything else) stroked just for the sake of stroking. *smiling sweetly*
I'm a woman in my 40's...I'm confident, I'm flirty...often without intent. I know what I want in life and at the same time, know that I may not get what I want. (Reference the Rolling Stones song "You Can't Always Get What You Want And if you try sometimes you find...You get what you need), Some of that is based on years of finding out exactly what I didn't want...and some of it is based on finding exactly what I wanted and having it slip away. I will NOT settle, nor compromise on important things at this point in my life and settle for second best or "darned close".
I have a wicked wit and view on the world...I'm sarcastic...I'm a handful, even as a friend. If I feel as if I can't be myself with you and be accepted at full strength, without censor, then you'll never get beyond my smile and polite comments.
There are a lot of good people here, men and women. There are a few that slipped below my radar and got close when I didn't really expect it and that are important to me, both as friends or more and I couldn't be more happy that they did. There are many more that I appreciate for their honesty and views of the world, for their common sense and advice. There are many that I see beyond the "surface" online persona to the caring heart underneath as they always send messages of support or just one to let someone know they are there if needed...(don't worry, your secrets are safe with me...You're all still the "studs of the universe" and only here for "fun" *LOL*)
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend. Enjoy the emerging Spring and new possibilities it brings.
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