It has recently been brought to my attention (Okay, not recently...actually it's been mentioned a time or four hundred during the course of my life *LOL*)...that my mind just possibly might not travel along the same thought processes as so-called "normal" people. Now I KNOW this concept will come as quite a surprise to everyone connected to me (Ummmmm...Lynn, Beth and Brandi...SHHHHHHHH!!). All of this time, I've been masquerading as a sane, "normal", demure Southern woman that is totally predictible, shy and never calls attention to myself (again, SHUSH ladies!!)...but it's time for a confession.
I might, just possibly, be a bit of a handful. (or so RK, the Yankee tells me often (very often), loudly, and with great enthusiasm as he endures the inner workings of my mind and outer workings of the rest of me.
RK (the yankee), after being told I had been tagged by Sune to list 6 MORE weird things about me (I haven't forgotten Sune, I'll get to it)...said he could come up with 6 Ummmm...."slightly unusual" things that I may have in my character or way of doing things in about 10 seconds. (then again, he IS a Yankee, so what does HE know..I mean, REALLY?)
So, in the interest of coming clean, spilling the beans, starting the new year with total candor and a clean slate...I thought I'd put together a blog letting you have a little peek into the workings of my mind on a typical weekend morning/early afternoon. DISCLAIMER: No one under 18 please and if you are prone to motion sickness, you may wish to exit this ride now. You have been warned. Dramamine and barf bags will NOT be provided.
Here are a few of the things that have wandered through the vast wasteland of my mind, just this morning....keep in mind I'm a nightowl and NOT a morning person. Although I will admit, that really has very little bearing on the way my mind works or doesn't work, depending on your perspective. Remember, I'm entrusted with guiding young minds as a teacher AND with the safety of the flying public. Scary isn't it??
Here we go:
Why do I have not one but THREE huge bottles of ketchup open in my refrigerator at any one time? Add to that two jars of mayo, God only knows how many things of mustard, etc. Ah hell, there are also TWO gosh durn gallons of sweet tea, both with an 1/8th of an inch of tea in each sitting there waiting for doomsday. Lord forbid anyone here actually make more tea or finish one gallon before starting another one. Oh good, there's a gallon of milk that has the same 1/4 in the bottom of it...doesn't expire until the 5th...it has 6 or 7 more days to clutter the shelf of the refrigerator. *rolling my eyes*
Durn it, one of the kids has taken the batteries to my vibrators AGAIN for one of their stupid CD players, remotes or something...don't they know some things are SACRED?? The old song about "if mama ain't happy, nobody's happy" springs to mind...they might want to quit taking those particular batteries. How am I supposed to get all perky for the day?? Okay, fingers will work for now.
How in the heck do just 4 people living in a house manage to generate enough trash to build our own landfill and enough laundry to have my washer and dryer going 24 hours a day, 7 days a week?? The trash people are going to LOVE my house when they get off their holiday pick-up schedules. (who am I kidding, they are always on holiday schedules *sigh*)
I REALLY need to exercise (a lot) the next two weeks, before someone will be here to see me naked.
18 years of living in the same house, might just be enough (she says as she thinks of how all the closets need cleaning out before someone opens one and gets killed in the ensuing avalanche of crap spilling out from the holiday frantic annual "hide the mess clean-up" before company arrived...more reasons for the trash people to love me)
WHY do we need belly buttons? Lord knows, I'm not going to pierce mine.
Gerald Ford was a good man...Betty is looking so frail...God bless them both.
Why did I think it was cute 20 years ago to teach my kids how to talk?
Ding, dong...Sadaam is dead....way past time for that to happen.
I need to make my fantasy football picks before tomorrow (yes I did already pick today's game, so there! :P)
I really miss being licked, sucked, f*cked....snuggled and cuddled at night.
I don't mind getting wrinkles, I've earned the laugh lines...but I hate like HELL I can't see anymore! (Where are even ONE pair of my 40+ pairs of Dollar Tree reading glasses??)
Human ping pong and windmills...Lord help me. *wink*
Gosh durn it, cats in heat can be pretty stubborn determined and have their claws out when they jump in your lap, OUCH! (Hmmm...for that matter so can a KAT in heat, keep that in mind...I'm not for the faint of heart *wink*)
Okay...this is all in the span of about an hour, so you get the basic idea. No wonder I have trouble shutting my brain down at night to get to sleep...someone needs to distract me, obviously or wear me out so that I'm not such a nightowl and might sleep now and then! *grin*
Have a great Saturday!
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