Let's Get Down Tonight (Explicit, Raw, Primal)- September 14, 2006

How to Go Down on a Woman

A couple of weeks ago, some of you will remember I did a little blog about the best ways to take care of your partner's penis called, How to Take care of Mr. Penis *or the care and eating of said treat*. (click here and catch up, we'll wait) Well men, this time I'm talking to you...so LISTEN UP!!

Cunnilingus is the holy grail of satisfying most women, so it's no surprise that some men might suffer from performance anxiety. Cultural myths about nasty vaginas just add to the pressure and are just that...myths. Cunnilingus performed well will endear you to a partner like nothing else can. So whether you're a seasoned taste tester or are a late bloomer just getting started, here are a few tips to improve your technique. PAY ATTENTION...you might just learn something.

We've all heard of "penis envy". Freud left out the chapter on "Clit Envy" though. If you don't have a clit, I understand your envy. Sorry men, but the clitoris is the ONLY organ in human anatomy that has just one function, and that is pleasure...so prepare to worship it as it should be! Go buy toys, books, or take classes on stimulating your partner's clit, G-spot, front door, back door, or doors you closed and padlocked that are longing to be opened. Every woman is different in what sparks their desire...take the time to unlock your woman's secrets.

I love reading, and to have great sex by yourself or with someone else, reading is a must. There are endless books with pointers and tips, or just hot erotica and porno made for every possible target audience imaginable. While cumming itself is incredible...there are so many kinds of orgasms, from the mini-o that is a vibrator-jaded-o, that's nice...to the earth shattering quiver-shiver. That's the one you feel from your head to your toes, your breasts, and tummy, your nipples, and pussy tingles...you have those wonderful Kegel-convulsions. Touch my G-spot and bring me right to the edge of cumming. Just hanging out there on the edge of a great explosion, can be so erotic, the precipice of bliss...sweet torture. A female can joyously perch there in all the wetness and hardness on the edge of something wonderfully toe curling for a very long time if you're willing to keep her on the brink. Trust me, it's worth the effort for the payoff. *wink*

Lick her like an ice cream cone… Big soft licks from stem to stern with a wide flat tongue stimulate all the nerves in her genital area. Go deliciously slow to make her feel like a yummy dessert being savored, or speed it up a bit and focus more on the clitoral area to push her towards orgasm.

Dive in. Build up the intensity level gradually. Once you're into it, use your whole face. Bury yourself in her, get your tongue in as far as possible, use your nose for more pressure. Not only does this feel good physically, it lets her know you are really into her taste and smell. Hint: if your eyelids aren't sticky, you're not doing it right.

Insert two fingers in her vagina while licking her clit.Curl those fingers up towards your tongue, capturing her clit and G-spot between your mouth and fingers. As your tongue licks up pull down with your fingers; get a rhythm going.

Let your lover straddle your face.If lying back to be licked is too passive for her, let her hop on top. From there she can control the pressure and area of contact. To make this position even more fun, get tied down to the bed before she mounts you, and maybe she'll even boss you around with firm directives: "stick your tongue out!", "open your mouth!" "suck it boy", and so on. Be prepared to will, well...lick it up...everywhere.

Mix it up.If all you do is lick up and down, up and down, ("fencepainting"), chances are that it'll get boring to your partner after a while. Vary your movements, add pressure, use your lips, breath and teeth in addition to your tongue, change positions, use your hands….Get your whole creative body involved.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.Most women orgasm in response to rhythmic stimulation, so if you're in a groove that is building her up, don't suddenly change what you're doing. Finding the balance between variety and consistency is the art to being an oral expert. Listen to her...encourage her to talk to you. Either with her body motions or with words, moans...taking her hands in your hair and guiding you where she wants you.

Play the part.Combine your oral sex experiences with a variety of different erotic attitudes. Are you worshipping her or are you controlling her with your tongue? Are you mystic lovers building an erotic energy ball together? Whatever your attitude, the psychic space you play in can make your sex connection that much hotter.

Suck her into your mouth. Gentle suction is a nice variation on the licks and downward pressure of most cunnilingus. While you've got a nice piece of her sucked in your mouth, lick it while maintaining the suction.

Lick her asshole.Use a barrier for hygiene, or if she is very clean and you don't penetrate, you may choose bare tongue on skin. The anal area is rich in nerve endings so all the varieties of oral stimulation--licking, sucking, nibbling--can feel wonderful. Not all women will let themselves go enough to enjoy it (or admit they do)...but if you are lucky enough to have a lover that is uninhibited enough to enjoy it, you're a lucky man. *wink* Enough said.

Add toys.Toys are a natural complement to oral play. Check in with your partner about whether she’d like a G-spot vibrator inside of her while you’re licking away, or whether she’d like to wear a butt plug for an added thrill. Offer the option and try it a time or two at least. You might also like experimenting with edible gels that heat when you blow on them.

Love your job.Tasting and erotic oral play is best when both people love it. Doing it should feel really good and exciting to the giver. As good as it is for her body, it hopefully is just as good or better for your mouth. It's something you're doing together. If you don't want to do it, don't. Performing sex because you feel obliged will kill that spark of sexual vitality in you quicker than anything. Follow the spark of your desire and you can't go wrong.

How do you know if she likes it?

With your face buried in her sweet spots and your ears muffled by her creamy thighs, it can be hard to talk about how things are going. So look for more subtle signs of her enjoyment. If she raises her hips to meet your mouth, that is a very good sign. A lubricating vagina and swelling vulva and labia that spread open as they become engorged are a sure sign that she's responding favorably. So is a growing clitoris. An all over skin flush, rapid breathing, and writhing are clues. Clutching the sheets is excellent, and so are hands on the back of your head pushing you in for more.

Of course...if you're very lucky...she'll be graphically telling you EXACTLY what you're doing to her...what she wants more of.

Ladies, here is your chance to chime in...feel free to give the men a few more little trivia tidbits to tuck away to use.