Picking up Women for One Night Stands
(If you have no sense of irony or sense of humor...exit now and no one will be hurt. Don't try this at home kiddies!!)
So many men complain that women only want "bad boys". If you're not "dangerous" enough or a total jerk with that OH so sexy edge of excitement, women won't give you a second glance, right? Nice guys ALWAYS finish last. HOW many times have you heard this or lived through it? It seems as if nothing you do, gets you ahead with the opposite sex. They flock to you as a "friend" then complain to you about the BAD BOYS that treat them badly. When they get what they want and go after, then whine and fuss about not being called or being cheated on. Do you think it makes no sense??
Well at last, here is your guide to understanding and achieving that BAD BOY persona JUST to get laid. We're not talking starting a "meaningful" relationship, these tactics are meant to be used SOLELY in the commission of a One Night Stand for nookie. No morning after conversations...no calling the next week...simply "slam bam, thank you ma'am" and Ahhhhhhhhhhh.
How many times have you been a perfect gentleman and provided wonderful conversation and free drinks all night long only to have her go home with some complete prick wearing skin-tight jeans that haven't been washed in a month?
Now you TOO can master the skills that mullet-headed camaro-driving rednecks have known for years, how to pick up women for one night stands.
First of all, if you want to get laid, starting out as their friend is the exact wrong thing to do. I'm assuming that you value the friendships you have and destroying one is not worth getting a little tail, now is it? No man in history has successfully started out as friends with a woman and then slept with her and not had the relationship turn into a total nightmare. You need a woman whose house you can sneak out of in the morning (or better yet, leave right after sex) and never have to see her again . You need to find a total stranger, and don't be afraid to approach a really good looking woman, they're just as easy as the ugly ones (usually).
I'm not talking about how to find a wife or a serious girlfriend here, I'm talking about a sure-fire way to get laid (read one-night stand, MAYBE 2).
As a bonus, if you have a one-night stand with a girl and you ever see her again, even years later, you get to automatically have sex with them and not have any commitment. They will go home with you again EVERY TIME.
I know that this seems backwards, and illogical, but women absolutely LOVE to be treated poorly. They get so many messages all day long that tell them that they're not worthy, that when you say it to them, it only reinforces what they believe about themselves, and you're in like Flynn!
There was a young man....a perfect gentleman, really smart, handsome, funny, outgoing but he never got laid. He was in his early 20's and he was still a virgin. He saw trashy women going through all his friend's apartments like stray cats. He asked all his friends how they managed to pick up so many women and they let him in on the secret, plus gave him the sure-fire ways to guarantee nookie.
1. Never dress nicely. This is the biggest no-no. Best bets are plain white t-shirt and jeans with boots.
2. Don't shave. A little more than 5 o'clock shadow will do, but under no circumstances keep a beard.
3. Never ever ever buy a girl a drink. If you can, get them to buy you drinks. If you buy them drinks, unless you buy them enough so they can't stand, then you're not getting laid.
4. Be blatantly rude and crude. Say things that you think construction workers would say to passersby. Things like "Hey, baby, if you're still here when the bar closes, then you're coming home with me."
5. Never compliment them. Tell them how hot you think their friend is, and stare at the friend.
6. Grab her inappropriately. If within 15 seconds of first speaking to her you have not touched her ass, then you will not get laid.
7. Tell her exaggerated stories about what a great lover you are. Tell her things like "When I get you alone, I'm going to make you scream until your you can't talk."
8. Never, ever, ever look her in the eyes, unless you are talking directly to her. Avoid all eye contact when she is speaking, you want her to think you are interested in someone else (preferably her friend).
9. Always talk about sex as if it's sure to happen. Never say "IF we fuck" always say "WHEN we fuck".
10. Always go to her house, but take control of the situation right away. Head right for the bedroom, if she goes to the bathroom, follow her in there. You don't want her to come to your house, because you don't want her to know where you live. Also, you want to be able to leave. If you bone her at your house, there's no way she'll leave.
He tried this plan and got laid THAT NIGHT.
I'm dead serious about all these. They actually work. it's actually difficult to do a lot of these if you're a normal, decent gentleman, but if you're looking for some fast action, you can force yourself.
You're better of going to a place you normally don't hang out in, as you don't want to insult anybody you would ever hope to have any sort of actual romance with.
Believe it or not, most guys are actually nice guys, but sometimes, they just feel like getting laid without having to deal with all the hassles. Never do this to anyone you care about or are interested in for anything other than sex, but it ALWAYS works...a SURE fire method for nookie acquisition. It's VITAL information that needs to survive so that the wisdom can be passed on and preserved for future generations.
If you ever ask a woman about these tactics, she'll absolutely deny them and tell you "No way, I'd never go for a guy like that. I want a sweet guy with a great sense of humor." Then she'll go home with someone acting this way or one of their friends. Women want to marry sweet guys with good jobs and a sense of humor, but when they want to fuck, they go looking for complete assholes.
All right ladies...here's your chance, help the guys out!!! Let the men know EXACTLY how well these things work. Tell them some of the things that draw you to these types of men like bees to honey!! What trips your trigger and makes you drool...swoon with delight when a beer drinking, swaggering bad boy looks your way?
MEN...share some of your sure fire techniques that have made you irresistible to the Fairer Sex and have gotten you laid EVERY time. I mean..after all, it's your civic duty to help a fellow guy out!! What can nice guys do to turn into a BAD BOY for a night?? Share your experience and knowledge...spread the wealth!
(Remember, it's Friday...dust your sense of humor and imagination off. It's DATE night *best as I remember*...so let's hear it...add to the list or let us know a success story or how well these ideas work! *wink*)
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