The normal debauchery, humor, flirting or ranting in my blog will not be seen this weekend. It will instead be taken over by a post of actual importance. Regular programming and dispensing of nonsense and/or passion will be resumed on Monday.
Dads. Whether you have or had a great one, mediocre one or absent one, they play such an important role in shaping our lives. Even those that had to endure purely bad fathers (for whatever reason, inattentiveness or much worse), can look back to your childhood and see how seeds of your current personality or determination and zest for life were formed from your interaction with the man that helped create you.
On my friend's list alone, there is such a diverse range of experiences concerning family matters in their own childhoods. I have been moved, saddened and at the same time in awe of those of you that have not only overcome difficult or impossible childhood situations, but that have risen to shine into such awesome adults. I am also in complete admiration for the parents on my list. Some have such challenges in their lives when it comes to relationships or missing partners (and have to serve as both parents) in raising their children, yet they strive to take the high road or make sure their children want for nothing, especially affection and the important sense of self. Some of you have limited access to your children through no fault of your own, but because of the pettiness of others or circumstance. So, to all of you...know that you have my respect, my support/advice when you need or want it, and always my heartfelt appreciation.
Moms get a lot of the spotlight because we do a lot of the "grunt" work with our kids. While not taking a THING away from working single moms who do it all...Dads are usually the "bread-winners" in the family and aren't born with the natural nurturing instincts we females are. Many times it's a learned behavior and most will learn that lesson so well and shine in their roles. Being a Dad is one of the most important things you'll ever do in your life. Whatever the income or social status you attain, when you look back on life one day, I hope you find that the only thing that was truly important was the life you helped create.
Now...I'm going to be a little selfish. This is Father's Day weekend, and I want to share a little about my Daddy with you. I will never be able to do him justice, but I'm going to give it a shot. He's truly a special man.
You wouldn't notice my Dad right away in a crowd...or he wouldn't think so anyway. I happen to believe that his quiet steadfast presence draws people to him more than he realizes. He was born in Copperhill, TN...the youngest of 8 children to a family that didn't have much. My grandfather drank too much and my granny was too busy working her entire life to truly raise the kids...so as often happened in those days, the older girls helped raise the younger siblings. My Dad has some stories from growing up that purely make you laugh until you cry at some of the things he had to endure at the hands of his sisters. This is probably what helped shape him into the man he became and still is today.
Dad grew up and took the role and responsibility of being the one to depend on in his family. He was the first one to finish school, serve in the military, go to college and wait to get married until he was older. He became the one that everyone in his family turned to for advice or help when needed. His sense of self and character is deeply ingrained and he has passed that along to my sister and me.
Some of you have heard tales (and will hear more) of my life growing up. I had a fantastic varied childhood. It wasn't perfect, but it was a wonderful conglomeration of chaos and common sense. My personality can be largely attributed to my Mom's genetic influence. The fact that I'm feisty and have a zest for life that's apparent, is purely her doing. I have a good mix of my Dad too, though..or hope I do and make him proud. My soft heart and sometimes overwhelming need to help someone when I can, comes from him...the smile I share with others whether they want it or not...along with the Smith nose....pure Dad. :P
My dad is on the outside a quiet man. He doesn't need to call attention to himself, in fact he tries his VERY best not to, but he is noticed and loved by many. He goes along through life doing the things that he knows in heart are the right things to do, without EVER expecting anyone to reciprocate. He never complains (well not often and then only to family)...he takes burdens and worries on himself rather than put them on others. He has the same friends now that he attended high school with and grew up with in church. I can honestly say, these people would walk over hot coals for him if needed. To me, this is the true measure of man. Not so much the outside acclaim he receives...the salary he makes, but the lengths those around you would go to if you ever needed them. I know the number of lives my Dad and his caring nature have touched in life. I cannot go anywhere in town without someone asking how my parents are or hearing a story of what he's done lately for someone that I didn't know about.
Daddy turned 71 this year. Just in the last couple of years, I've finally started to see him age a bit. Don't get me wrong, he's STILL one that could run rings around someone a lot younger and doesn't look his age (and never truly has)...but I find that when we're together, I realize that time is passing much too quickly now.
He takes complete care of my mother, not an easy task since her health is declining rapidly these days. They are totally devoted to each other (even though they bicker with total affection ALL the time)...and he would be lost without her. I look ahead to the future, and while I HOPE I have them both here for a couple of decades or more, I now cherish each and every memory made all the more because I realize the importance of making a conscious effort to make the most of every second. It's one of the reasons you see so many family pictures from me when special occasions occur...these pictures will serve as visual aids for the stories I make sure are passed on from generation to generation. I think this is vitally important...not only to honor and remember the past, but to make a difference in the future with our children and their families. To pass along the roots and sense of where you came from.
Daddy is still there for my sister and me whenever we need him. He delights in his grandchildren and they adore him. Even though he might not always say what they want to hear, they seek his advice regularly. He has gotten a little more outspoken and a bit more sarcastic and ornery as he's gotten older...I love it! He is also a quiet support system for me. I'm SO much his child in many ways, I don't often lean on anyone else just as he doesn't...but I always know he's there when I need him. It's an unspoken deep seated given that I never have to think twice about. It's never discussed, it just is.
Thinking back on life and my childhood with my Dad, I have SO many memories that are precious and funny...but for some reason one stands out this Father's Day weekend. I was the only child in our family for the first 6 years of my life. Depsite my mom's efforts, I was pure tomboy and inseparable from Dad and my Papa. They spoiled me rotten, protected me fiercely and taught me to love sports. The memory that comes to mind though is of how we spent every single Saturday morning.
Our town square had a little barber shop, complete with the red, white and blue striped spinning pole outside the door. It was a purely male territory back then, a "manly man's" place to escape from the women creatures on a weekend morning for a while. They could go and sit a spell, get their hair cut and do some much needed male bonding before facing the rest of the "honey-do" weekend. Every single Saturday morning for years...my Dad would come and get me...then he AND I would go to this hallowed place. I remember even back then, somehow "knowing" this was a special ritual. There were never any other daughters there with their dads, just the occasional son. Yet, I was accepted and welcomed (and yes spoiled) by every single man in there and made to feel as if I was the only girl in the world. I even saw my first Playboy magazine there (and remember a couple of the men almost killing themselves to grab and hide it before I realized what I had picked up! *grin*)
I don't think Dad realized how important those days were to me or that I remember them so fondly today almost 40 years later. He just did it because I was his girl...he was my Dad and he was a parent in a time where Dads were often absent or distant or left the raising of the children to the moms...My Dad was different...he was there...and involved...and I was and am always loved...then and now.
Happy Father's Day, Dad (and to my Papa as well, who is never out of my thoughts or heart) ...I love you.
To all the other VERY special men on my list or for those that might wander by...
Have a very special WONDERFUL Father's Day weekend. The contributions you make, whether grand gestures or the little quiet unique perspectives you add, are vital...appreciated...and is why you're loved.
May you enjoy every second of your day. *hug*
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